Worst. Smell. Ever.
A group of Philadelphia scientists took on the challenge of empirically identifying the top six worst smells in the world. Smell being perhaps one of the most subjective senses, this was no mean feat. Though a cursory glance of the list is hard to argue against.
1. Skunk. Though there are actually fans of this smell who describe it as a “sweet perfume.”
2. Decaying flesh. Not too many people are going to argue this point.
3. Vomit. This can cause even the most iron stomach to gag.
4. Feces and urine. Bacteria colonize and break down the undigested food residue to create some very malodorous gases. Eww.
5. Decaying food. Again, bacteria don’t seem to be too picky about what they choose to eat.
6. Isonitriles. The stench is so bad they’ve even been patented for use as nonlethal weapons.
I got to experience a combo of #2 and #5 yesterday afternoon in an experiment where I channelled my inner Mike Rowe. And by “experience” I mean lay down in, until the wetness of the decayed pool of decomposing putrid liquid seeped through my clothes (which have been subsequently thrown straight into the dumpster).
Before Picture: All dressed up for cleaning out fish guts.
Arms covered to the shoulders with heavy rubber gloves, that were so large they needed to be duct taped to my arms to keep them up, with respirator and goggles firmly in place, I crawled underneath the metal container that receives fish waste (by the TONS), pushing it through an auger and into the fishmeal processing plant at Ocean Protein. At the end of the season, there’s a bunch of fish that didn’t quite get through and gets stuck in the pipes between the blades of the auger. Sitting and mulling in its own rotten juices over several months, when you unlodge the pipe fitting, that mix of goo and stinky water spills out onto the floor with violent force. But the pump can’t clear out the stink water till you clear out the “chunks.”
It’s like declogging and cleaning the worlds most disgusting bath tub.
I was guided through the process by the large-framed, former-football player/body builder and part time physical therapist, Donny, who I’m pretty sure didn’t expect me to get quite as dirty as I did. But he also didn’t probably realize that the only way for me to reach the bottom of the pump drain to dig out the fish heads and other rotten “mystery meat” was to lie on my stomach and reach in up to my shoulder. Once I was in the muck, it didn’t really matter much how much MORE gross I got. Though I did have the advantage of being able to fit between the metal support beams without having to fold myself into some kind of origami crane.
It was an honest couple hours of work. And as gross as it was, I did get to use a pretty sweet power hose and ultimately had the satisfaction of visibly making a difference. Sometimes that can be a struggle when you live in the world of marketing and communications. It’s all about long term planning and and grinding it out every day to occasionally look up to see that you actually are making progress.
It’s also a testament to the hard work that goes on here every day by good people who really do get dirty – truly DIRTY – every day to earn an honest day’s pay. You gotta be “all in” when you have a project like that in front of you. And it’s critical that it gets done well. If those guts and heads aren’t cleared out, the machinery doesn’t run properly and the plant can’t operate and we’re all out of a job.
We hear the expression “don’t sweat the small stuff” all the time. In reality, the small stuff is actually really important. After all, it’s all the small stuff that put together makes up something important. A mountain is a pile of small stuff. The ocean, many many drops of water. Just ask anyone who has ever accidentally substituted sugar for salt in their omelet if the “small stuff” matters.
Relationships are the best example of building something big with small stuff. It’s a choice every day to love someone, to give 100% with all the “small stuff” that makes life, well, life.
I don’t think I necessarily need to experience swimming in decomposing fish goo again to learn this lesson, but it’s one that I’ll take with me regardless. That and a whole new level of respect for Donny and all the folks at Ocean Protein who live with this combination of empirically defined “worst odor in the world” #2 and #5 every day.
I am humbled by your commitment to the small stuff. This one’s for you.
(FYI…that picture isn’t me. It’s Martina Navratilova. Hope she learned something, too).
